If you ever...

If you ever find yourself in a small village by the name of Paquiestancia...
1. Stay with a host family. The main reason being that returning home each evening will be the best part of your day. No matter how tired or homesick you might be, being greeted with hugs by host siblings overjoyed to see you is like getting a shot of seratonin.
2. Beware of cows with one horn or scars. They have a preference for human flesh, and would like nothing better than to draw blood or severly maim. However, a seven year old with a corn stalk is sufficient to keep even the most persistant at bay.


3. Also beware of the canine community after sundown. Dogs who wouldn´t even give you a second glance during the day are transformed into four legged Mr. Hydes with a special interest in gringos. A flashlight in the face (not literally, just the light), or some rocks should be enough to get you home safely (or a companion who can't run as fast as you). If the dogs don't get their sport with gringos they turn on local livestock. Be prepared to eat sheep for a week.
4. A parade isn´t complete without at least one person peeing on the side of the road, a dog fight, some dog love, and the delay of two or more buses.
5. There is always room for one more person on a bus, even if the rest have to vertically spoon and the doors are unable to close.
6. Roosters do indeed crow at the crack of dawn. They also crow five hours before the crack of dawn. And four hours before. And three... Good luck sleeping the first week.
7. A visit to the hot spring above La Chimba is worth the 15 or so dollars for a camioneta, though even those with the strongest bladders might pee their pants a little on the single track, barely clinging to the side of the mountain, dirt (or mud, depending on the weather) road up to the spring. But the view is incredible, and the spring feels great after a few weeks of cold showers.



8. Want a guinea pig? Just wait for the cuy camioneta to roll into town and you can take your pick from the truck full of rodents. Be prepared to haggle over price. And remember to bring a laundry basket or old potato sack for storage and transport.


9. Take a hike and enjoy the mountains. Ecuador is a gorgeous country with so much to offer! Only wait until after you've acclimitized to the altitude to attempt the climb.